There was a girl who talked to freaks.
Me (hissing): “Shut up, I’m quoting some poetry here.”
There was a girl who talked to freaks
She understood them, and they her
One day she looked into a crystal stream
and saw in its bed a diamond
she picked it up and placed it in her hair
she did so
as she did so, she turned into a freak
it was then revealed that the other freaks,
she magically had understood,
were once human like her
You: “Mmmkay that doesn’t make sense, Ev.”
Well it’s an adaptation of a Cocorosie song which I geniusly altered to my new favorite tv show :
It’s kinda like ‘That 70’s Show’ but situated in the 80’s. And it has been around for ages. It was the first acting gig for a lot of actors who became famous later on.
It’s about this achiever kid Lindsay who is a mathlete, decides not to be a geek anymore but to hang out with a bunch of burnouts instead.
Hell I would be a burnout if I could hang with James Franco and Seth Rogan.
Errr, I mean squad goals.
I have always fancied James Franco as an actor but after seeing him on ‘Freaks and Geeks’ I desperately want to sodomize him.
Me: Well, I hear he’s gay but he doesn’t want the world to know about it.
Anyway. Some of the plot lines are very adaptable to my life. Apart from the fact I’m not in school anymore and I don’t smoke weed (that often): I’m a definite burnout! I’m channeling my inner punk. Heck, I even sneakily blasted ‘Anarchy in the U.K.’ by the Sex Pistols through the speakers the other day.
Well, relax. I’m not going to walk around with egg white spikes in my hair or walk the streets with a head full of acid, but I do understand the punk way of thinking.
I don’t know if it’s the trashy Berlin vibe of the café I work at, the tattoo TV shows I binge watch, Trump unpacking his personals in the Oval office or just another super moon, but I just don’t feel like following the rules too much anymore. Even dogs go to heaven, right? And there are a lot of good people who live their life according to the book who don’t.
Punk basically promotes the act of ‘thinking for yourself’. And that’s all I’ve been doing this year. Analyzing, questioning, nonconforming. Because it came naturally to me. The more I walk off the beaten path the more I feel this uninspired way of living: getting up each day, leaving for work with a worn out face, coming home with a worn out face, not enjoying anything, being an apathetic slave to society isn’t the way I want to live my life.
Example: I happen to know quite a lot of people who studied, have a degree in some higher study like business management, civil engineering, sports physics, … but deliberately serve coffee, work in a store, pick up garbage, … Every day these people get asked if they aren’t too smart for the job they do. And I think it’s exactly this narrowed way of thinking that makes our economy, our society, sick.
You don’t have to stay an engineer and reply emails all day if you discover it’s not really your trade. You made the choice to become one when you were 18. If you feel you would be better at serving coffee with crazy latte art, then why should you feel restricted to go do that? If you pour coffee and it’s the thing you love most in the world, don’t you think a bit of that love drips in the cup and makes that customer a little more happy too?
I just really feel people are doing way too much against their will. They’re being deliberately sodomized by the system, man.
And that’s how you create diseases, cancer and mental breakdowns.
Life at the café is a good example of this point I’m trying to make. I experience a lot of interesting encounters behind my counter. I talk to people. Listen to them. Share stories, insights and laughs. Also pain. Some come to me to talk about their troubles. A bad day at work. A date that got blown off. A brain tumor that needs to be removed. A marriage that has gone sideways.
Now, I don’t really like being confronted with people’s problems too much but I designed my own signature way of dealing with these cases.
I don’t speak.
I just listen. And when the waterworks come, I quietly slip a napkin under their beer card and whisper: “Go ahead. This stays between us”.
Because of the world presenting itself to me in various shapes, colors and tastes, customers provide me with a lot of insights in life. Some bright. Some somber.
The other day I was gazing outside and reminiscing about life and asking myself some fundamental questions about my future. Our future. And the reason why we are put on this Earth.
My boss: “There is no reason, kid. This is all there is to it. I hate to give it to you, but take it from a man who has lived.”
Funny thing: I didn’t really feel like disagreeing with him. Even though he’s only 50 % right.
It’s a crazy thing called ‘living’. We’re all trapped together in a limited time and space zone and don’t really know what to do with our time being here. We just fill up the blanks. Make time pass quicker when we’re at work and try to press pause when we’re on holiday. The only thing we know for sure is that we’ll all die one day.
Being limited, we should all be capable to make the most out of it. But instead we fuck everything up. We destroy, overindulge, hate, fight, complain, cheat, … we let our egos get in the way.
Also, with time being so limited, we all feel the deadline. And the need to desperately leave a mark. A footprint. We want the world to know who we are and to remember us. We don’t want to disappear in the history books a loser. We all want to be winners and be better than our neighbor. But often fail doing so.
Greed is such a disease. We should shake it.
Tone down your expectations. Of yourself, of others, of life in general and just try to do good, enjoy the ride and pick up as many memories while doing so. It is the only way of dealing with this mortal fight.
To be kind to your kin.
And your knees.
And to live as much in the moment as possible.
Wherever you are, to really be there. Whatever you do, to really do it. I think it’s the only way to savor each day and actually come as close as you can get to something called ‘happiness’. Take it from a burnout.
On that thought, I recently started to Snap myself into the moment.
You: “Oh great, just be more egotistical that will solve all of our problems.”
Me: “Oh please… I had some accounts before but I just never really was a fan of it until now. All of a sudden I felt the need to snap. And I also understood it better. It’s a great way to share your vision, to make mini movies, tell cool stories, … I guess my after movie inspired me to do it.”
In case you haven’t yet, you can check it right here:
And it’s SUPER compatible with the blog and a great addition to my multi media strategy in my bid to transcend this earth and start life on a different planet with James Franco!
Look, I already snapped this before you read it. How meta am I?
You: “As if you’re living someone else’s drug dream…I’m calling your mother.”
Me: “Wait! You don’t want to stay around to see me get my ears pierced with infected pins???”
Snap you later!
==> Follow me: evdelgouffe aka ‘Blonde Clueless‘